Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Yoga. Roar.

Last week I attended a Bikram (hot) yoga class for the first time. I have been to yoga classes in the past, but I’m not super bendy. In any event, I found myself in a 2000 degree room on a mat with a towel as I coaxed my body into one position after another. About twenty minutes into the class I became extremely nauseated. In retrospect, an egg sandwich on a bagel and cup of coffee probably wasn’t the best way to hydrate beforehand, but I have none of the self-control that would have prevented breakfast.

As the nausea escalated, I decided to take a break and lay on the floor on my back in a ‘pose’ called Shavasana. After a few minutes on the ground I rejoined the class for a pose or two and then needed to get back on the floor. It was at this point that the teacher announced, “feel free to lay in Shavasana if you need to.” Great, thanks. One pose later I’m back down and the affirmation becomes, “there’s no shame for lying in Shavasana.” Seriously, I’m the only person on the ground. I struggle back up only to be struck back down by the urge to ralph and then, loud and clear, “we don’t place any judgment on people in Shavasana.”

At this point I began to wonder if anyone had ever protested yoga. Is it even possible? In a world that's increasingly apathetic and non-responsive to the true tragedies occurring constantly, is there someone out there that has the energy to protest yoga? Gone are the days of the grand protest song.

If anyone would have the gall to protest yoga it would be Captain Moron.

Alas, I did not find any specific yoga protest songs, but I uncovered evidence of Christians protesting yoga in Canada.

Before you lose faith in Shavasana and humanity, remember that protest singers of today are not entirely extinct.

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